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Asbel Lhant

Member Since 16 Jul 2017
Offline Last Active Private

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Night Shadow

26 November 2017 - 08:12 PM

Welcome to the forum buddy. 8D And I see you used my template. Thanks. :D

In Topic: Gerard

01 October 2017 - 02:15 AM

Not so much, but I do feel more detail would help make your character stronger in concept.


As I said, him working to overcome his weakness and his other senses becoming more enhanced over time would make him more badass, because he had to struggle for it so as to still following his career as an assassin. 

He kind of did do that unless you're saying I should have him do it by RP. But I didn't think it would matter if everything was already set in stone for him since he's meant to just be a villain/antagonist in RPs.

In Topic: King Iron Hoof

27 September 2017 - 04:23 AM

Thanks. He's quite the villain too. Now I'll just wait for EquestrianScholar.

In Topic: Nurse Bluecross

26 September 2017 - 08:58 PM

I'd advise an edit to this sentence "Nurse Bluecross is so knowledgeable" to "Nurse Bluecross is very knowledgeable", largely because it sounds more natural and follows a better sentence structure/grammar.


Personally, with how skilled you seek to imply she is when it comes to medicine, especially with finding cures to incurable diseases which already has not been shown to really be a problem in Equestria, her being a nurse seems a little low on the medical profession career ladder. Her being a doctor/physician or medical scientist/researcher would make more sense, but I won't force you to change this detail.


Euthanize is more something you'd see with a pet, something a veterinarian would do but a nurse or doctor. Also, you do realize the point, or more main purpose, of euthanizing is right? To provide a humane and quick death, where otherwise the animal would suffer a slow and generally painful dead. Also, so as to not use less humane ways of having the animal die.


Still, it is your character. Many in realize life don't agree with euthanization so I guess it isn't too surprising, even if I don't get it myself.


Of any case, not really anything that needs to be changed. Simply perhaps some clarification or added detail, such as about her years growing up, her friends and family, and perhaps how she got her cutiemark.

Made a few suggested edits. The show has been shown to have doctors and nurses though. Like in that episode where Rainbow Dash discovered the joy of reading. And let's not forget about Nurse Red Heart.

In Topic: Gerard

26 September 2017 - 08:43 PM

Only detail to note, is that when losing one sight the other senses don't immediately enhance to compensate. A suggested edit is to show a bit of time had passed, no need to state how long simply that it had, before he noticed his sense of hearing had increased with the part of him hearing a stream at such a distance. Perhaps also that the loss of his sight could have prevented him from fighting until he learned to overcome this weakness.


In my opinion, it would make him seem more badass and interesting if he had to work towards overcoming and compensating for his loss of sight, instead of the implication that his other sense increased suddenly and he was able to continuing fighting. The overcoming a challenge instead of simply not having there be one, especially if despite such hard work there are times his loss of sight still causes him some issues. Such as the inability to read and others talking about seeing things when he can't.

The FFA section actually has rules about detail now? Ouch...This could be a problem...